Ritual

A Ritual of Self-Love

When it comes to working with Lilith, she can be…demanding. Even this is putting it lightly. This is the only warning you will get ahead of this ritual.

I knew going into this month she was going to push me past my comfort zone. Which is saying something. Very little, after 3 decades a Witch, makes me squirm.

Working the ritual. What you need:

Your BSC for the month
Lilith incense we created for the BSC
Our Mantra to Lilith found on the DGC FB page
A bath oil/tea/flowers that makes you feel sensual and sexy. More about that below if you’re stuck for what to use
At least 2 candles (one red, one black. Though 2 of each is better)
Finely ground Dragon’s Blood Resin (optional)
Some music
An hour of time just for you

The process:

To do this ritual, which is really one of self-love, you need an hour of alone time. I know it can seem almost impossible, given commitments to kids, husbands/wives/partners, pets, household, and the list goes on. We can make excuses for why we can’t do these things. Yet, to fully claim our sovereignty, we must make sacrifices. If you have to do this at midnight, then do so.

Start by lighting your BSC to Lilith. If you have a bit of Dragon’s Blood Resin, make a paste from it using a drop of moon blessed water.

Light a bit of incense from our monthly blend. Dip your finger in your Resin paste and draw a line from your forehead down to the tip of your nose. Continue on from the lower lip to chin.

Use the Mantra, written by Kaycee. Repeat it as many times as necessary until your inhibitions fade. This ritual is about connecting with your body and what she needs.

If you have been seated to this point, stand. Put on a song or two that makes you feel sensual, desirable to yourself. The only rule for this ritual is that it is about you & Lilith, in her guise of the Whore of Babylon. Guess what? That isn’t something to make you feel bad, negative, ashamed or embarrassed. Those feelings are the patriarchy speaking. Push through it.

Dance to the music. Sway your hips. Just fucking move. Find that rhythm in that space.

If you are able to, undress. Otherwise, extinguish your BSC and move into your bathing sanctuary to do so. Place your candles either on the bathroom counter and light them. Or if you are able, at the 4 corners of your bath tub. Adjust accordingly if you only have a shower or can’t get into the tub.

As you fill the tub, add the bath oil/tea/flowers to the water. I generally start with a base oil and add any of the following:
Vanilla, Jasmine, Rose, Hibiscus, Violet
Add them all if you’d like. Though I can’t guarantee what it will smell like in the end.

If you are able to, while the water is filling, lower the lights. I love bathing in almost complete darkness with a small string of LED lights for ambiance (and so I don’t kill myself when I step out).

If you were unable to completely undress before, do so now. From this moment, it is you, only you, and the wisdom of Lilith. Allow your mind to wander. Using your hands to push the water up over your body. Your hands connecting with skin.

What brings pleasure to you?
How does it feel when you touch there?
What about with more pressure? Less?
Find the spaces between that make your toes curl.
That has you vocalizing without conscious thought. It just happens.

As you explore her (meaning yourself), find the places where you are completely lost. Thought doesn’t come. It’s just you & the embodiment of pleasure, nothing more. Those noises? You know the ones. They are perfectly normal. Do not try to silence them.

Stay in that place for as long as you need to. Don’t rush yourself. Also know if it brings you pleasure, there is NOTHING wrong with it.

This is about a trifecta of knowing yourself, your pleasure, and beginning to learn exactly what you need. This is how we find that space I call Divine Bliss. If you’ve never experienced a true orgasm, true release, you’re in for a surprise.

It is in being open and honest with ourselves that we find this place that I can hardly describe. But it has, more than once, had me in a space of wave after wave for hours. Yes, it IS possible. Not every time, because none of us would ever leave there.

Once you feel that you are satiated, emerge from your sacred time of self. Having a lotion, body oil, etc. that helps you feel that self-love can make a huge difference here. If it IS bedtime, a bit of lavender & vanilla is a beautiful combination to use. Make sure to wash the resin from your face, as well.

A brand new pair of Pjs, or your favorite ones, clean sheets, and that relaxed place will make for the best sleep of your life. Blow out your candles before heading to the bedroom, please.

Working through what you’ve learned.

Having a dream journal, to record anything that sticks out in your dreams will help with processing. Take a bit of time over the next several days to sit with your experience.

Next, comes an incredibly important part to this whole process. Communication. We often keep our wants and desires to ourselves. Letting our partners “take the lead”. We aren’t doing that anymore, at least, not all the time.

Being a sovereign being is about claiming those things that are ours. The things we want in our lives. You can keep your discoveries to yourself if that’s what you choose to do. However, sharing what you’ve learned about yourself can be an act of intimacy, too.

Lilith is going to nudge you forward. She is going to keep reminding you that your pleasure is just as important as your partners. I know women who have faked it every single time. Do you know what takes less effort? Switching off the brain and letting go. Go claim what is rightfully yours, Witch!

Darkest Blessings,
Ivy

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Honoring the Beloved Dead

The Ancestors. The Beloved Dead. The Wise Crone. They are here, among us. Each of them passing along wisdom hard won. It is in our bones. In our very DNA. As the veil thins, we honor them. Those who have gone before us.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Have you felt them?

Samhain isn’t just a single day. The Season of the Witch begins, for me, at sundown on the Autumn Equinox. It lasts up until Winter Solstice. So I have been feeling the energies for weeks now. You know the energy I mean, the kind that when you walk into a room there is a familiar scent that was worn by your Beloved Grandmother. Or when you sense someone standing behind you. Yet, visually, you’re alone. A Witch knows the signs, scents, and energy that means there is a presence with them.

It is wise to put some protections in place. After all, you don’t want just any spirit waltzing through like they own the place. Honoring the spirits of place, those that have dwelled on the land for longer than your lineage has existed, goes a long way to protecting you and yours.

Just as with any entity you wish to connect with, building a relationship with the spirits of the land is important. Find out what they like (most will accept sweets, alcohol, or grains) and make sure you make your offerings on a regular basis! To neglect them unless it’s this time of year, or it’s beneficial to you, is folly. They are truly your first line of defense. They exist even on the outside of any property wards you may have set.

What to do if something enters that isn’t welcome

It’s simple, if somehow there is something that enters your home through a weakened ward, light up some banishing incense and tell it to leave. It really is that simple. Checking your wards twice a month can eliminate this minor inconvenience.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Who are our Beloved Dead?

As Witches, our Beloved Dead may not be the same as the dead of our Ancestral Blood. They may be the Witches that paved the way for us. Musicians and poets who are long gone but have touched our souls in some way. Remember, this is Witchery and the path we walk is our own.

One such Witch that I honor is Madam Helena Blavatsky. A Russian Spiritualist that was born on the same day as I, but 142 years before I was reborn to the world. If you haven’t read anything of her, you should! She is fascinating, IMHO. For you, it may be Doreen Valiente, or Mary Shelley, or any number of others.

Familial ties can be tricky for some of us. My grandmother was a saint of a woman and she always has a special place with me. Placing trinkets or pictures onto an altar reminds that some of our dearly departed went above and beyond. We remember. Veneration is a large part of our Samhain activities.

Image by Cotton Bro

The tools we use

Anything can become an instrument of ritual. It is all in the intent! A big one this time of year is Graveyard Dirt. Knowing how to properly collect it is important. If you have ancestors buried nearby, that’s where I would start. Bring 2 coins and leave them at the entrance. That’s to pay the Ferryman. Having an offering for the dead is also important. If there was a particular…spirit they enjoyed, that would be acceptable. Or a pinch of pipe tobacco. Confections may have been more their thing. So talk to family about them.

If you’re collecting from an unknown grave, vodka or whiskey seems to be the most asked for.

Don’t just walk to the grave, collect the dirt, and turn around and leave. Remember what I said about our land spirits? Build a relationship. It will serve you much better in your final outcomes.

On Samhain, sit in quiet contemplation for a while

Your Witchery will be stronger for it. Listen to the messages of the dead. Take a bit of time to speak with them. Even if they don’t speak back, they’re listening. They’re working out what your intent may be in contacting them. Eventually, they will speak back. As long as you’re working from your heart and not your ego. The Dead will speak.

Darkest Blessings on this Samhain Eve,
Ivy (and Kaycee)

Kaycee wrote a lovely ritual for us – The Dead Speak. Be sure to check it out!

You can find DGC on Facebook and Instagram and you can find Revelations of a Witch on Facebook and Instagram as well as on the web

Hel’s Anthology

Ivy’s experience with Hel

When Hel made her desire to be the first monthly focus Goddess apparent, I don’t think Kaycee or I had any idea what was in store. When I was calling her in on the 1st, I felt a distinct energy shift. One unlike anything I’d ever experienced.

This lovely print is one I own. You can get yours at Elemental Otherworld

Many will lead you to believe that healing trauma “isn’t that difficult, or that painful”. That is merely surface healing. Deep healing, to become truly sovereign, to heal ancestral lines, is something wholly different. There are thing I have spent the whole month with. Now, I speak them.

Deep, truthful, long-lasting healing isn’t wine, roses and sweet song birds.

As I traversed the path to reach the entrance to the underworld and her hall, I was not alone. The landscape was beautiful, but desolate. The journey was filled with shifting shadows. Birds were high up in the barren trees and I caught glimpses of the wolves that watched my every step.

The road to healing, the truth, redemption whatever you wish to call it is littered, not with wine and roses, but blood, tears, bones, the lies we’re told, and the parts of ourselves we have cast into the aether. The violence inflicted upon women can leave us locked in a validation seeking prison of the mind.

You are enough. You always have been.

Photo by Marko via Unsplash

Seeking out like-minded people isn’t weakness. We live in a socially driven society. If someone is trying to discourage you from seeking connection, which can move our collective consciousness forward, they aren’t thinking about what is best for you. Only their own ego and the acceptance they seek.

Hel has taught me, over the last month, just how strong these connections can be. While she does take the dead who don’t die in battle, it is not only the elderly and infirm. Nor is it “the lazy”. I want you to ask yourself one simple question. What actually defines a battle? It isn’t just taking up arms, running onto a battlefield, and shedding blood. We all fight battles every day. From our mental health to the struggles of just existing in a patriarchal society.

Hel is a protectoress of women and children.

As you know, we called her in on the 1st, then spent weeks building that relationship. Everything at our disposal was utilized in that quest. The incense, oil, meditation, sigils, devotional altars, sacred black candles, were all part of that process. Each time I walked the path to Yggdrasil and down into her realm, my heart felt more at ease.

Two weeks ago, tragedy struck. I won’t go into the details, those that know me know what they are. From one careless act, a boy was left without his mother, a mother without her daughter, a woman without her sister, and a partner without his love. The ripple effect was as breathtaking as it was horrifying. This, too, is a battle.

Kaycee and I worked together that night to cast of web of protection. I then made my oh-so-familiar journey. My heart was so, so heavy. I was coming to her to ask for her to protect this child. As soon as I entered Hel’s hall, she motioned me to her. She knew my worries, she knew why I had come.

Photo by Vlad Bagacian from Pexels

When her hand stretched toward me, I gave her this small, glowing ember that I didn’t even realize was in my palm. It was the protection spell I had cast earlier. Once it was free from my grasp, a weight lifted, but the worries remained.

My own mortality was staring me in the face. I am a mother, a Mimi, a wife, a daughter, an aunt, the thought of leaving my family so tragically was enough to give anyone pause. Those thoughts sat with me for days before I could finally let it go. They now sit in the deep darkness.

That family that is forever changed? Hel keeps silent watch. Their grief is a battle. One that will take a lifetime to heal. She has my gratitude for the wisdom she has taught me. I am a warrior, but I am one of her warriors.

To read more of our posts about Hel and the work we did this month, you can find a bit of a compendium here.

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