Self Care

A Ritual of Self-Love

When it comes to working with Lilith, she can be…demanding. Even this is putting it lightly. This is the only warning you will get ahead of this ritual.

I knew going into this month she was going to push me past my comfort zone. Which is saying something. Very little, after 3 decades a Witch, makes me squirm.

Working the ritual. What you need:

Your BSC for the month
Lilith incense we created for the BSC
Our Mantra to Lilith found on the DGC FB page
A bath oil/tea/flowers that makes you feel sensual and sexy. More about that below if you’re stuck for what to use
At least 2 candles (one red, one black. Though 2 of each is better)
Finely ground Dragon’s Blood Resin (optional)
Some music
An hour of time just for you

The process:

To do this ritual, which is really one of self-love, you need an hour of alone time. I know it can seem almost impossible, given commitments to kids, husbands/wives/partners, pets, household, and the list goes on. We can make excuses for why we can’t do these things. Yet, to fully claim our sovereignty, we must make sacrifices. If you have to do this at midnight, then do so.

Start by lighting your BSC to Lilith. If you have a bit of Dragon’s Blood Resin, make a paste from it using a drop of moon blessed water.

Light a bit of incense from our monthly blend. Dip your finger in your Resin paste and draw a line from your forehead down to the tip of your nose. Continue on from the lower lip to chin.

Use the Mantra, written by Kaycee. Repeat it as many times as necessary until your inhibitions fade. This ritual is about connecting with your body and what she needs.

If you have been seated to this point, stand. Put on a song or two that makes you feel sensual, desirable to yourself. The only rule for this ritual is that it is about you & Lilith, in her guise of the Whore of Babylon. Guess what? That isn’t something to make you feel bad, negative, ashamed or embarrassed. Those feelings are the patriarchy speaking. Push through it.

Dance to the music. Sway your hips. Just fucking move. Find that rhythm in that space.

If you are able to, undress. Otherwise, extinguish your BSC and move into your bathing sanctuary to do so. Place your candles either on the bathroom counter and light them. Or if you are able, at the 4 corners of your bath tub. Adjust accordingly if you only have a shower or can’t get into the tub.

As you fill the tub, add the bath oil/tea/flowers to the water. I generally start with a base oil and add any of the following:
Vanilla, Jasmine, Rose, Hibiscus, Violet
Add them all if you’d like. Though I can’t guarantee what it will smell like in the end.

If you are able to, while the water is filling, lower the lights. I love bathing in almost complete darkness with a small string of LED lights for ambiance (and so I don’t kill myself when I step out).

If you were unable to completely undress before, do so now. From this moment, it is you, only you, and the wisdom of Lilith. Allow your mind to wander. Using your hands to push the water up over your body. Your hands connecting with skin.

What brings pleasure to you?
How does it feel when you touch there?
What about with more pressure? Less?
Find the spaces between that make your toes curl.
That has you vocalizing without conscious thought. It just happens.

As you explore her (meaning yourself), find the places where you are completely lost. Thought doesn’t come. It’s just you & the embodiment of pleasure, nothing more. Those noises? You know the ones. They are perfectly normal. Do not try to silence them.

Stay in that place for as long as you need to. Don’t rush yourself. Also know if it brings you pleasure, there is NOTHING wrong with it.

This is about a trifecta of knowing yourself, your pleasure, and beginning to learn exactly what you need. This is how we find that space I call Divine Bliss. If you’ve never experienced a true orgasm, true release, you’re in for a surprise.

It is in being open and honest with ourselves that we find this place that I can hardly describe. But it has, more than once, had me in a space of wave after wave for hours. Yes, it IS possible. Not every time, because none of us would ever leave there.

Once you feel that you are satiated, emerge from your sacred time of self. Having a lotion, body oil, etc. that helps you feel that self-love can make a huge difference here. If it IS bedtime, a bit of lavender & vanilla is a beautiful combination to use. Make sure to wash the resin from your face, as well.

A brand new pair of Pjs, or your favorite ones, clean sheets, and that relaxed place will make for the best sleep of your life. Blow out your candles before heading to the bedroom, please.

Working through what you’ve learned.

Having a dream journal, to record anything that sticks out in your dreams will help with processing. Take a bit of time over the next several days to sit with your experience.

Next, comes an incredibly important part to this whole process. Communication. We often keep our wants and desires to ourselves. Letting our partners “take the lead”. We aren’t doing that anymore, at least, not all the time.

Being a sovereign being is about claiming those things that are ours. The things we want in our lives. You can keep your discoveries to yourself if that’s what you choose to do. However, sharing what you’ve learned about yourself can be an act of intimacy, too.

Lilith is going to nudge you forward. She is going to keep reminding you that your pleasure is just as important as your partners. I know women who have faked it every single time. Do you know what takes less effort? Switching off the brain and letting go. Go claim what is rightfully yours, Witch!

Darkest Blessings,
Ivy

Want to learn more about what is going on with Dark Goddesses Collective?

You can find Dark Goddesses Collective on Facebook and Instagram!

Our private network will be launching soon! Its creation will be for those who are interested in doing the deeper, life-changing, intuitive work of reclaiming their power with Dark Goddesses and a tribe committed to fostering change in their communities. Stay tuned for more info!

The Serpent in the Storm

Of Serpents & Storms

Maybe you have noticed the hashtag over at Revelations of a Witch and here at Dark Goddesses Collective or maybe you have not – either way, Of Serpents & Storms is what we are made of.

Logo Courtesy of Morien Wynter

The backbone of it all

I am a HUGE proponent of selfcare, of using the gifts the mothers give us to lead ourselves back to center. There is nothing quite like having a day where it all seems to just fall apart and realizing it’s time to take back control. To pivot, if you will.

This was never more clear than a few months back, when I was having a moment and could NOT bring myself out of the mindset of, what really was, imposter syndrome. Kaycee, being the rock that she is, told me to get a few herbs, run a bath, place those herbs in the water and let them do what they are meant to do.

We all know that herbs in the bath are wonderful, but the cleanup can be a nightmare. So I grabbed a little tulle bag, stuffed it with herbs and tossed it into the water. Within minutes, I was back to myself. I could breathe, I could think and I was free of those thoughts that come to us all sometimes, unbidden. That was probably the moment I realized, there’s something here.

I have decided to create a line of bath products for the stressed out Witch. For the Witches that find themselves in that headspace of “not good enough” (which is utter bullshit anyway). However, we have discussed it and come to the conclusion that we want to be different. OS&S will not be sold online, for now anyway. The only way to get your hands on our products will be in person.

Photo by Ivy Laine. Only a small sample of what we’ve conjured up.

We’re here to help the working Witch take care of themselves, while at the same time doing something we enjoy. The first products will be available as a raffle basket at The Witchy High Tea in Concord, NC on June 5th. There will be other vending events in the future, but to give you an idea of what is being created see a partial list below.

Bath Teas in reusable bags
Bath Teas in biodegradeable paper tea bags
Bath Salts with various herbs for specific purposes in tulle bags
Mojo Bags for Protection, Sleep, etc.
Glass 4oz. Jars of teas, salts, blends with an adorable little spoon and a reusable tulle bag
Mini Altar Tins (which is something I’ve been making for a decade)
BSC with specific purposes in mind
Bath Bombs/Dust
Sugar Scrubs for ritual cleansing

As you can see, we really want Witches to have products geared toward them and the work they do. As we get closer to Samhain, I have ideas for salts and teas to help connect you with your ancestors. We love our community and this is the way we are working to give back. To help guide you through the storms as the serpent sheds her skin. To be born anew.

The Witchy High Tea is approaching fast. Do you have your ticket yet? If not, head on over to the CMPF Fundraising Page

Darkest Blessings,
Ivy

Want to learn more about what is going on with Dark Goddesses Collective?

You can find Dark Goddesses Collective on Facebook and Instagram!

Our private network will be launching soon! Its creation will be for those who are interested in doing the deeper, life-changing, intuitive work of reclaiming their power with Dark Goddesses and a tribe committed to fostering change in their communities.

Soothe the Dragon Bath Tea

Soothe the Dragon Bath Tea

We have done a lot of work with Tiamat this month and, no doubt, there have been moments that have felt overwhelming. How many times have we told ourselves that we need to be practicing selfcare? Do you know what selfcare looks like in times like these? Where you are so overwhelmed? Where the Divine has messages that you must hear right this second?

What if I told you that it’s almost as simple as “Get in the tub”? It is, but with a twist.

Photo by Hanna Postova @ Unsplash

I created this blend as I was working on a raffle prize for a local event happening in June. There are few measurements aside from the ancestors telling me when to stop. It ended up creating an entire quart jar, which I will use going forward. The items you need, you probably already have in your Apothecary.

What you need:

Chamomile
Rose Petals
Yarrow
Lavender
Salt (Epsom, Himalayan or Sea Salt works best. Use what you have.)
Mugwort
Drawstring teabags or Tulle bags to contain the plant material and make cleanup easy
A large bowl

I sat down with my herbs, bowl and bags and set out to work.

Add as little or as much as you feel called to add. The Mugwort I would go light on, because it can bring about visions. Visions while in water can be a bit tricky.

I added my herbs in the order above then mixed them with clean, dry hands. The colors and textures were just lovely to the touch. I use a stainless steel bowl, as it’s easily cleaned.

Photo by Ivy Laine

Aren’t those colors just gorgeous?

Once I felt it was mixed enough by closing my eyes and just being present, I got my bags and set to work filling them. A few teaspoons is all you need. You can do this ahead of time and bag up the entire bowl into your bags if you like. I would just caution that they need to go into an airtight container of some sort.

Once you’re done, they’ll look something like this, depending on the bags you’re using.

Photo by Ivy Laine

How to use your Soothe the Dragon Bath Tea:

When you wish to soothe the dragon, hang one of these so the water runs over the bag as you fill the tub. Then, luxuriate in the water for as long as you need. Once you’re done, you can either toss the entire bag, or wait for it to dry and dump the used herbs and reuse the bag.

It really is an incredible way to calm the mind. Let me know your experiences with crafting the tea and how it helps you to recenter and calm the storm that rages from time to time.

You can find us on Facebook and Instagram! You can find all of our work with Tiamat here.

Darkest Blessings,
Ivy

Want to see us in person? We are honored, inspired, and full of gratitude in announcing our workshop acceptance at Mystic South this year! Come see us!

Featured Photo by Elina Fairytale from Pexels